...without looking at me. i waved at her, "psss!" at her, waved at her again. still, she didn't notice it. hello? can i just say a "hello" to you? was i so tiny that you couldn't see me at all? was your mind at a distance, thinking of something else? or you just didn't want to look at me?
if this were a multiple choice question, i'd pick the last one. there i was, standing right in front of Oli when she walked down the stairs, and i just waved at her, as i do with people who i know. damn. she just completely ignored me, didn't even lift her head to see me. i could be wrong...she could be thinking of something hard, that was prolly why she didn't notice i was waving at her. but i doubt so...whatever. hope i'm wrong, God. i definitely don't wish to see a wall between us. and i hope that my decision to settle down in the video ministry was not the cause of this. what was i suppose to do? carry on being split in between these two (choir and video) ministries and continue to be confused? no.
i'd like to know what was on her mind at that time. i really do. i don't want her to feel hurt that i chose not to join the choir. aahhh...can't afford to lose her - she's my prayer-partner-to-be. ok, i prayed for that. even so, it still counts! God, help us to get together!